All In Solutions Counseling Center Cherry Hill

Addiction Treatment Center Near Me - Cherry Hill According to the State of New Jersey Division of Mental Health and Addiction Services, 6941 Camden County residents received addiction treatment in 2020. The state estimates that only 50% of the need for treatment within the county was met for that time period. We at All In Solutions Counseling Center in Cherry Hill are committed to providing drug and alcohol rehab services to as many clients struggling with addiction as we can.

Wednesday, March 16, 2022

Love Them Until They Can Love Themselves

Sat, 12 Feb 2022 18:30:40 +0000

This article originally appeared on:

cathytaughinbaugh.com/love-them-until-they-can-love-themselves/

If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either. ~ Mandy Hale

Do you feel that you are trying to solve your child’s pain?

Does your adult child not seem to love themselves? Have you tried to help them to no avail?

When you are in emotional pain, it’s easy to withdraw and shut down.

You may become angry, resentful, and blame others. The situation can feel impossible.

Your child’s substance use may consume you. It‘s hard to think about the other members of your family. Sometimes isolating so the denial can continue may seem the more natural path to take. Yet, It can feel like a comfortable role until you remember that it won’t work for you in the long run.

In addition, while it’s not your fault that your child turned to substances, change requires that you do your inner work and accept some responsibility for the problem.

Love from the sidelines

As onlookers from the sidelines, you try everything you can to make it all better and fix the problem. Maybe you’ve given money, a car, a place to live, a hot meal, love, and affection. The feeling of guilt for what you believe to be your part in the pain contributes to your overdoing. Tears are shed. You may yell, beg, scold, and nag to no avail.

Suggestions from others are made. They can be helpful or not. Your child may try to blame you for their problems, which can be upsetting. Family members point fingers blaming each other. Furthermore, you may have an idea of how you want to handle the problem, so you don’t always listen to others if you don’t think it’s going to be helpful.

You find yourself making continual excuses for why your child doesn’t attend family functions and why they are struggling. The enabling, the constant worrying, and the sadness can take a toll. Your heart is filled with love. Yet, you realize that you can’t fix your child.

You become exhausted and realize it’s time to take a break.

I can’t change anyone’s behavior, but I can influence that behavior by my actions. –Robert Meyers

We can love our children, but they won’t love us back in any meaningful way until they get on the path to healing.

But, you can hold both joy and pain in your heart at the same time as you find ways to move forward.

Certainly, when you are emotionally drained and feel there is nothing more you can do, here are three ways to continue to love your child and still have yourself:

Love

Forgive yourself

Say goodbye to the suffering that has gone on for years. You can accept that you cannot make your child love themselves. Only they can do that. But you can be a support person, helping them along the way.

Everyone who struggles in life has a family story that most likely contributed to the problem. Make amends if you feel the need to. Then forgive yourself for anything you feel you may have done to contribute to the problem.

We all make mistakes. It does not do any good to continue to relive our past transgressions. Self-compassion will give you new strength to carry on.

Today is a new day. You have a clean slate, and you can now start again.

Exercise, meditate, write

Exercise in any way that works for you. For example, try walking, yoga, or tennis. Find something that will keep your body moving.

Take a moment to sit each day and give your mind a rest. You will have more clarity. It will help with anxiety, depression, and inner peace.

Write in a journal. It can help lead you to your inner thoughts. You will be able to think through and solve family issues and feel empowered and understand yourself and your situation.

Take a break when needed.

It’s okay to take a break. If you are feeling emotionally overwhelmed, that might be the best thing you can do for yourself.

You can motivate your loved one to change, but you cannot cure, fix, or change someone else’s life unless they are ready to make that change. Above all, accept them for who they are, even if they have unsolved issues.

Meeting them where they are, as in harm reduction, is a way to start on the road to recovery.

It is essential to consider your health. Give yourself the respect that you deserve. You are not abandoning your child if you step away for a time to take care of yourself.

Most importantly, hang on to the hope that when your loved one is ready, you will both be able to move forward to a better place.

Our children need our love and support.

We never want to give up on them. You can be there for your child in a supportive role.

Be the example to follow.Provide tools for change. Allow them to take responsibility for their lives. Take care of yourself along the way.I’ve been in a similar situation with a struggling child. For example, each night when I would go to bed, I would say a little prayer for my loved one’s well-being and safety. It helps to send positive wishes to your child each day. It will help you feel better.

Know there is hope for a better tomorrow.

There are millions in recovery. Your child can be there too.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddha

In conclusion, there are things that you can do to help your child or other loved ones feel better about themselves. The more you can be a support for them, the better.

To recap:

Love from the sidelinesForgive yourselfExercise, meditate, writeTake a break when needed.What thoughts do you have about how you can love your child and help them change?

Thank you for reading! This article was updated on February 12, 2022

Thank you for reading. I know you have many options on content. Don’t forget to sign up for my Sunday newsletter filled with information and inspiration. Sign up now.

All In Solutions Counseling Center is a network of addiction treatment providers. We provide outpatient and inpatient addiction treatment programs that are individualized to meet each client's needs. Our specialized programs include:

Our locations include:

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Tuesday, March 15, 2022

Fentanyl Side Effects: What Every Parent Should Know

Sat, 19 Feb 2022 19:31:34 +0000

This article originally appeared on:

cathytaughinbaugh.com/fentanyl-side-effects-what-every-parent-should-know/

Are you worried about the fentanyl side effects?

If you are reading this article, you most likely know the dangers of fentanyl. I ask that you share this article or other information about fentanyl with a family member, especially with teens or young adults, so that parents are more informed.

The sad fact is that fentanyl’s side effects kill our teens and young adults.

I find it heartbreaking when I hear about young people in the prime of their life whose lives are over because they made a deadly mistake.

Did you know that fentanyl poisoning is the leading cause of death for ages 18 to 45? It is more deadly than COVID, car accidents, or suicide.

Kids today are supposed to learn from their mistakes, not die from them. ~ Derek Maltz,

former director of DEA Special Operations

According to the DEA Fact Sheet, “Fentanyl is a potent synthetic opioid drug approved by the Food and Drug Administration for use as an analgesic (pain relief) and anesthetic. It is approximately 100 times more potent than morphine and 50 times more potent than heroin as an analgesic.”

Fentanyl side effects include:

extreme happinessrelaxationdrowsinessdizzinesseuphoriapain reliefnauseaconfusionconstipationsedationvomitingurinary retentionproblems breathingpupillary constrictionrespiratory depressionunconsciousness

According to NIDA, “An overdose occurs when a drug produces serious adverse effects and life-threatening symptoms. When people overdose on fentanyl, their breathing can slow or stop. This can decrease the amount of oxygen that reaches the brain; a condition called hypoxia. Hypoxia can lead to a coma and permanent brain damage, and even death.”

We have had 100,000 overdoses from drug use in the past year.

One example is Alexandra Capelouto, a 20-year-old college student who unknowingly purchased a counterfeit Oxycodone pill deceptively sold to her by a drug dealer on Snapchat.

Another is Eli Weinstock, who lost his life due to an accidental fentanyl overdose. You can listen to my interview with Dr. Beth Weinstock, Eli’s mother.

A recent study suggests that collectively, family and friends will mourn more than a million years due to all the young people’s lives lost to overdose deaths in the last several years.

According to the report published in JAMA Pediatrics, researchers at The Ohio State University found adolescents and teenagers, ages 10 to 19, cumulatively lost nearly 200,000 years of life due to unintentional drug overdoses from 2015 to 2019. When they expanded the study to 10- to 24-year-olds, it grew to more than collectively 1.25 million years lost.

The DEA has a new campaign. One pill can kill.

Here’s what you should know to protect your kids.

Fentanyl is a Schedule II narcotic under the United States Controlled Substances Act of 1970. From 2012 through 2018, the number of drug overdose deaths involving fentanyl and other synthetic opioids increased each year dramatically.

Fentanyl is a drug that people inject, snort/sniff, smoke, take orally by pill or tablet, and spike onto blotter paper.

Overdose may result in:

a stuporchanges in pupillary size,cold and clammy skin,cyanosis,coma, andrespiratory failure leading to death.When seen together, coma, pinpoint pupils, and respiratory depression strongly suggest opioid poisoning.

Some common street names include • Apache, China Girl, China Town, Dance Fever, Friend, Goodfellas, Great Bear, He-Man, Jackpot, King Ivory, Murder 8, and Tango & Cash.

Information about fentanyl side effects

A recent episode of the Phil in the Blanks podcast addresses the national crisis of drugs, both real and counterfeit, laced with deadly doses of fentanyl. Derek Maltz, former director of DEA Special Operations, and Tim Mackey, CEO of S-3 Research, were the guests. As you probably know, fentanyl is sold on the streets and on social media. These substances are easily accessible to our teens and young adults.

According to Derek Maltz, here are some of the things the DEA and other law enforcement organizations are seeing:

They are seizing millions of counterfeit pills, and over 40% have a lethal dose of fentanyl in them.The DEA in Phoenix, Arizona seized zero fake pills in their cases of counterfeit pills. Last year the Phoenix DEA confiscated over 10 million counterfeit drugs. The DEA lab has determined that 40% of the analyzed pills have a potentially lethal dose of fentanyl.Fentanyl is 50 to 100 times stronger than morphine. It’s being mixed into various drugs. 40% of the drugs have lethal doses in them.On the border last year, DDP seized 11,201 pounds of fentanyl. That’s a 390% increase since 2018. The DEA, alone working with their partners, took over 20 million fake pills off the streets of America and 15,000 pounds of fentanyl.Enough fentanyl has been seized already to kill everyone in America as of December of 2021!The statistics are escalating. And it’s estimated that only about 10% of the total supply has been seized.In San Diego, at the end of last year, there was a 1300% increase in fentanyl-related deaths from 2016 through 2020. The sheriff’s department in Orange County reported a 1,067% increase in fentanyl-related deaths. The coroner in Franklin County, Ohio, said 86% of the deaths are fentanyl-related in the drug-related category, and that was only through the third quarter of 2020.

Related article: 20 Facts Everyone Should Know About Fentanyl

Social media

One of the main problems is that your son or daughter can purchase these pills on social media sites. There are attempts made to regulate them, but things are moving much too slowly.

Midway through 2021, 90 cases were reported of online drug cases, and 49 of those had a direct tie to fatalities.

Currently under investigation,Snapchat has thirty-four cases, and Facebook messenger has twenty-eight. These sites have been too slow to react to keep their users safe.

Unless the whole tech industry addresses this issue collectively, we’re really not going to address the problem at all. ” ~ Tim Mackey

We need a united force to address the problem to lower the death rate. Resources, people, and money need to be behind the problem. Whether your child is affected or not, we all need to be concerned about these issues killing our young people.

It’s about letting your kids know that buying drugs from a friend or an unknown source can quickly end their life.

Parents need to talk to their kids. Have ongoing conversations with your kids, even if you don’t think they are abusing drugs. You can’t take the risk of avoiding conversations about the dangers of fentanyl.

My challenge to you is to share this article or other information about the danger of fentanyl use with five other families who have teens or young adults. Please explain how it can be in any drug your child obtains. And it can be deadly.

Here’s an example of what you could say:

“I’m writing to share an article and to let you know about the dangers of fentanyl. Please have an ongoing conversation with your son or daughter to help keep them safe. Buying any pill or another drug from a friend or an unknown source could be deadly. Please share this article with other families who have teens or young adults. Thank you!”

In conclusion

Fentanyl has made its way into the United States and other countries and is killing our young people. Fentanyl poisoning is the leading cause of death for ages 18 to 45.

It is very likely to be any pill or street drug being sold today. While the social media companies are helping with the problem, the consensus is that they are not doing enough.

Finally, talk to your child often. Whether in middle school, high school, or college age, they need to understand fentanyl’s side effects clearly.

Help spread the word to help save lives. Do it today.

Thank you for reading. Don’t forget to sign up for the Sunday newsletter with information and inspiration to help parents and families.

All In Solutions Counseling Center is a network of alcohol and drug treatment providers. We offer outpatient & inpatient substance abuse treatment programs that are individualized to meet each client's needs. Our specialized programs include:

Our locations include:

Did you miss our previous article…
https://www.allinsolutions.com/how-craft-can-make-a-difference/

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Monday, March 14, 2022

How CRAFT Can Make a Difference

Sun, 06 Feb 2022 03:15:22 +0000

This article originally appeared on:

cathytaughinbaugh.com/how-craft-can-make-a-difference/

Unlike other approaches, CRAFT teaches you how to stay involved in a positive ongoing way, while also taking care of yourself. ~ Parent’s 20 Minute Guide

Do you know about Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT)?

CRAFT is a method for helping friends and family members change how they interact with someone they love who is misusing alcohol or other drugs.

What I like about CRAFT is the approach works to change lives. It provides a comprehensive strategy for interacting with your teen or young adult in a way that works! It is an approach that can help get your child into treatment and get their life back from addiction.

As we know, there are no guarantees with addiction. At the same time, don’t you want to know about every available option so that you can make the best possible choices for your family?

Drs. Robert J. Meyers and Jane Ellen Smith of the University of New Mexico developed CRAFT. Interestingly, CRAFT has proven to be significantly more effective and benefits both substance users and their families. It gives them a plan of action and a more positive outlook.

What I learned about CRAFT is that it provides tools to communicate with your child in a more positive way for a parent or other family member.

You might wonder why that is important. It is essential because when you encourage your child to seek recovery in any form, you want them to HEAR your message.

CRAFT gives you strategies and tools to communicate more effectively with your child. As your child hears your message and feels that you are listening too, the chances are better that your child will be open to changing their behavior.

Studies have shown that families who use CRAFT have about a 70% chance that their loved one will enter treatment.

CRAFT teaches parents how to:

Identify what is behind their child’s substance use.

Break the patterns that lead to or increase your child’s drinking or using.

Develop and improve communication skills to have more productive discussions.

Help your child find treatment resources when they express interest in treatment.

It helps family members take care of themselves and reconnect with their values.

I’ve heard from many frustrated parents who are in pain because of their child’s substance use. CRAFT is not a quick fix. Instead, it is an option that might make a difference for you and your family.

Everyone concerned about their child’s drug or alcohol use should know that CRAFT exists. It gives you tools that help promote change in a kind, compassionate way.

Be sure your family knows all their options. That gives you the best chance of overcoming substance use.

This article was updated in February 2022.

Consider getting access to Regain Your Hope, an online course that gives you an action plan to help your child. There is hope and change is possible. Hang in there, Cathy

All In Solutions Counseling Center is a substance abuse treatment network. We provide inpatient and outpatient substance abuse treatment programs that are tailored to meet each client's needs. Our specialized programs include:

Our locations include:

How CRAFT Can Make a Difference-All In Solutions-All In Solutions - A Solutions Based Behavioral Healthcare Group

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Sunday, March 13, 2022

9 Ways To Help Yourself When You Are Concerned About Your Child

Thu, 10 Mar 2022 15:00:54 +0000

This article originally appeared on:

cathytaughinbaugh.com/9-ways-to-help-yourself-when-you-are-concerned-about-your-child/Are you looking for ways to help yourself because of your child’s drug or alcohol use?

Do you feel the stigma and shame of addiction?

If you answered yes to either of the above questions, I have walked in your shoes. My family has experienced addiction to crystal meth and dependence on marijuana.

While my kids worked to turn their lives around, there are many families who are struggling.

They ride the emotional roller coaster of their child’s substance use. Often it leads to guilt, anger, frustration, and shame.

It is an unhealthy situation for any parent or family member.

Now with fentanyl-laced in many of the drugs and their availability on social media, it is more crucial than ever that you focus on tools that can help.

Help yourself first. It’s the way to begin the process of healing.

There are many things that a parent or family member can do. While you don’t have control over every aspect of your child’s substance use, you can help your child change.

The hope is that one day your child will live a happy and healthy life.

What can you do in the meantime? Here are nine ideas to get you started:

help yourself

Practice self-care

There is the saying from the airline about putting your oxygen mask on first before you help others. This saying applies to the situation of coping with the substance use of a teen or young adult.

It is stressful and challenging when your child is using drugs or alcohol.

There are research-based strategies that can help in new ways.

When you understand and manage your emotions, it can ease the situation. By helping yourself first, you will make better decisions. You will be more of a help to your child.

Educate yourself on recovery strategies

There are many useful evidence-based approaches available, as well as traditional approaches that may motivate a person to change and seek recovery. One such program is Community Reinforcement and Family Training or CRAFT, which strongly supports family members.

It is essential to stay involved in your child’s situation. To turn away or detach is not so helpful. While it is tempting to want one answer that works for everyone, one size doesn’t fit all. Yet, the solutions are often unique to each person. Long-term change comes from understanding the root of the problem.

Positive reinforcement can make a difference.

Substance use is often accompanied by negative behavior and negative talk. Positive reinforcement can make a difference.

Change the conversation to one that is more positive. It will remind you and your child about what they are doing right.

You may feel you are acknowledging the behavior that your child should be already doing. Put that aside because your child is in a different place than most of his peers.

Allow positive reinforcement to be part of your conversation. It can help motivate your child to change their life for the better.

llow for natural consequences.

Consequences come from a place of compassion and love. When you plan for them ahead of time, your emotions don’t get in the way. They are not confrontational or punishment.

Get out of the way and let the world teach your child. Negative consequences can decrease their interest in continuing the undesirable behavior. Those teaching moments can be what increases your child’s interest in change.

Allow your child to experience the consequences of their actions. They will learn a powerful lesson about life. Of course, it is always essential to keep your child’s safety in mind and your tolerance level.

Create a social network

As humans, having a social connection is what will enable us to live well and thrive. Families with substance use issues can often isolate and let go of close friends and family. It is not healthy and often makes the problem more challenging.

The stigma and shame of addiction stifle family healing. Surround yourself with family and friends with similar interests. It will help you better cope with the challenges that you are facing. Talk to a friend or

Try to plan something at least once a week. It will make you feel better and give your mind a break from worrying about your child.

Start an exercise program.

Something as simple as taking a walk is an excellent place to start when it comes to exercise. Because things are challenging now, this might be the best time to start a new habit, such as exercise, to stay fit. It’s a great way to help yourself stay resilient. Not only will you be feeling better, but you will be a role model for your child.

“Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person’s physical, emotional, and mental states.” ~ Unknown

Physical exercise is a way to improve your mood. It helps relieve some of your stress. Brain chemicals will be stimulated. You will feel healthier and more relaxed. Self-esteem and better sleep are two benefits of exercise. Start with small steps to help you get started. You will begin to feel happier, healthier, and make better decisions.

Focus on other family members

It is easy to get caught up in the negative cycle of your child’s substance use. When you do, your other family members feel neglected. Their issues can be left unaddressed. Your attention is on their sibling with substance use issues.

Marriages can often feel like they are at the breaking point. Spend quality time with all your children as well as your spouse. Find something positive each day, and stay optimistic. Don’t let addiction break your family apart.

Live in The Now

Recently my middle son told me about the app, The Now. I am amazed that my 30-year-old is interested in the concept of living in the present moment. I love how our kids can often be our best teachers.

The Now gives you 23 days of lessons, tips, and quotes to train your mind to live more fully in the moment using continuous mindfulness training.

Here are a couple of examples: “He who lives in the present lives in eternity.” ~ Ludwig Wittgenstein and “You can’t change the past, so don’t worry about it right now. Go out and do something for yourself instead.”

Living in the now helps you focus on today, not what has passed and not what will come. When you focus on the present, you will help yourself feel less anxious and more in control.

Have Gratitude for what is going well.

You feel happier when you are grateful for what you have in your life. Train your mind to look for the positive and notice the shift that evolves. You will be less likely to be caught up in the negative cycle going on around you. You will no longer allow yourself to be the one who suffers.

When you have moments of crisis in your life, it is vital to acknowledge the sorrow and pain. It is also essential to work through the process and allow something beautiful to evolve.

Gratitude can turn:

anger into calmdespair into joydoubt into hoperesentment into compassionfrustration into acceptanceshame into empowerment

It gives you the strength to bloom and grow once again.

Please do all you can for your child that supports their recovery. At the same time, work hard to enjoy your own life and those around you who need your love and support.

When you help yourself first, you will have so much more to give to others.

If you liked this post, it would be fantastic if you would share it on social media.

What has helped you along the way? Let us know in the comments!

Thank you for reading. I know you have many options on content. Don’t forget to sign up for the Sunday newsletter with information and inspiration to help parents. Sign up now.

All In Solutions Counseling Center is an addiction treatment network. We offer outpatient & inpatient substance abuse treatment programs that are customized to meet each client's needs. Our specialized programs include:

Our locations include:

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Friday, March 11, 2022

5 Strategies for Parents Who Want to Help Their Child Change

Sat, 26 Feb 2022 22:06:03 +0000

This article originally appeared on:

cathytaughinbaugh.com/strategies-for-parents/

Would you like some strategies for parents to help you cope?

Would some ideas on how to cope with your child’s drug use be helpful?

I remember trying to deal with my child’s substance use. It’s not easy.

It’s hard to watch the child you love more than life itself make choices that harm their health and well-being.

You might be feeling guilt, anger, frustration, and shame.

I see the toll addiction takes on family members and how it can feel overwhelming and hopeless.

And yet, I’ve worked with numerous parents and have seen many reasons for hope. When people commit to healing the underlying core issues that drive their drug use, they can alter their patterns and transform their lives. I’ve seen healing happen, and it is beautiful to witness.

In this post, I’ll share five strategies for parents to help manage their relationship with a young adult dealing with addiction. I’ll discuss what helps promote recovery and a healthy relationship between you and your child.

1. Listen to hear.

While it’s tempting for all of us to explain to our children why they should change, a better approach is to listen to understand what is going on for them. When you simply listen and take in what your child says, you hear the more profound things they are telling you, even if you disagree.

These things can be hard to hear if, while your child is talking, you are thinking about what you are going to say next.

Remember the old saying, “Kids should be seen and not heard”? One of parenting’s goals is to shape your child, yet now we know that it is equally important to give our children space so we can listen to them and develop the skills to truly hear them.

That way, you can take in what they have to say. It will have a profound and positive effect on your child and strengthen your relationship with them.

If you push too hard for change, your son or daughter will want to dig in and hold their position. We cannot force change. Our children need to be ready to change for themselves.

What if we took a week and simply listened to our child without sharing our perspectives at all? What would happen then?

That could be an act of love that your child will appreciate.

2. Let go of the past.

Many of us spend a great deal of time reliving things that went wrong in the past. We stress over what might have been or what we could have done differently.

Yet the past is not nearly as important as the present moment. Why? Because the past is over. What happened happened. It’s over. The essential question isn’t, “How can I change the past?” but rather, “What will I do going forward?”

One of the best choices you can make as a parent is to let go of your regrets from the past. Your child has most likely made some poor decisions during their addiction. But remember that your son or daughter’s drug use is just one aspect of who they are. It’s not their whole being.

Plus, trying to fix your child does not promote their recovery. All it does is keep them stuck with feelings of shame and guilt.

No amount of regret can change what happened in the past. People can spend years punishing themselves for poor choices they made, but all of those negative feelings don’t do a thing to alter the present moment.

Addressing the underlying core issues is what makes a difference. Once your child understands their emotional pain, that will empower them to make better choices in the future.

3. Work through your shame and guilt.

According to Dr. Adi Jaffe, “Shame is the feeling that there’s something wrong with you. It’s not about having done something wrong (that’s guilt). Shame arises from the core belief that you are simply not good enough. Sadly, it’s a core belief that is common among those who struggle with addiction issues.”

You may think that if you don’t try to make your son or daughter feel shame and guilt about their addiction, they won’t have the incentive to change. However, shame and guilt are not effective strategies for parents. All they do is bring people down and negatively impact them on every level.

A much better choice is to spend time with your child while staying as positive as possible. You don’t need to use shame and guilt to “correct” another person’s course. Instead, the natural consequences of their actions will have much more of an effect than your words ever could.

As Anne Lamott stated in her book, Some Assembly Required “Life is the correction.”

parent strategies

4. Don’t blame yourself.

As a parent, you may be wondering whether your child’s addiction came about because of something you did (or neglected to do) in times past. I know I blamed myself for years because I felt our divorce caused my child’s addiction.

Yet, I’ve since learned not to dwell in self-blame.

While negative things can happen in childhood, trauma is different for each person. An event that barely affects one of your children may have been traumatic to another of your children.

Trauma means that the event was traumatic to you. We all have issues that are difficult for us. It doesn’t necessarily mean we didn’t have a good childhood. Things that happened to us that affected us negatively stay with us.

They need our attention, and this is the work we need to do.

There’s a strong link between past childhood trauma and substance use. At some point, your son or daughter turned to substances to ease the pain of his or her past.

Most parents do the best they can. It isn’t about what you did or didn’t do; instead, the substance is a solution for the pain that your child is feeling at the moment.

5. Self-care is an important strategy for parents.

It’s easy to forget to take care of yourself when your child is in crisis. However, the best choice you can make to help your child is to take care of yourself first.

Exercise, eating healthy food, visiting with friends, and keeping up with your hobbies are all ways to practice self-care.

If you focus on your own needs, you can become a balanced, calm, loving presence in the lives of your family members. But if you neglect yourself, your frustration, resentment, and anger will bubble up to the surface. That doesn’t help anyone, least of all your child.

Your child can empower themselves to find a better path. Offer your love and support, but first, work on caring for yourself.

You will then serve as a role model, and you will then be in the best position to help your child.

In conclusion, we can help our children change, but the process takes time and effort on everyone’s part. The more you help yourself first, the better the chances are that your child will be willing to change.

Here are the five strategies for parents:

Listen to hear.Let go of the past.Let go of shame and guilt.Don’t blame yourself.Practice self-care.

Finally, know there is hope for your child. There are millions in recovery. Your child can get there too.

Thank you for reading. I know you have many options on content. Don’t forget to sign up for the Sunday newsletter with information and inspiration to help parents. Sign up now.

All In Solutions Counseling Center is a substance abuse treatment network. We inpatient & outpatient substance abuse treatment programs that are customized to meet each client's needs. Our specialized programs include:

Our locations include:

Did you miss our previous article…
https://www.allinsolutions.com/relief-leads-to-recovery/

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Thursday, March 10, 2022

Relief Leads to Recovery

Tue, 01 Mar 2022 17:04:43 +0000

This article originally appeared on:

al-anon.org/blog/relief-leads-to-recovery/

When I was new to Al‑Anon meetings, I heard members ask, “Do you want recovery, or just relief?” I realized I didn’t know the difference between those two things, and, as a newcomer, that little word “just” gave me the idea that getting or finding relief was less than desirable. Someone pointed me to page 125 in Courage to Change (B-16), where it says, “Recovery is a wonderful word. It means getting something back. Today I will try to remember that ‘that something’ is me.” I still struggled. What does that mean in daily action? What does that feel like? How do I know if I’m “just” getting relief or actually on the path to recovery?

As I continued to think about these ideas, I realized that, actually, relief is far from a “just” for me. Rather, it is critical to moving forward toward recovery. I imagine recovery as swimming underwater. I can’t begin or keep swimming (recovering) without a big gulp of air (relief). In daily action, sometimes I feel like I’m underwater, and things like going to a meeting, venting to another member, having a good cry, and reading the literature are my relief, my breath of air, my preparation to move forward. The next piece—whether I choose to act differently, remember my choices, reason something out with my Sponsor, stay in contact with my Higher Power, journal honestly about my motives, or choose to show up with kindness and love as God would have me—this is recovery in action.

By Azelie F., Massachusetts

The Forum, March 2022

Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.

The post Relief Leads to Recovery appeared first on Al-Anon Family Groups.

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Wednesday, March 9, 2022

The Case for Codependency… With a Rescue Dog

Tue, 08 Mar 2022 06:46:07 +0000

This article originally appeared on:

https://ift.tt/sGmiQub say all roads lead to Al-Anon, but every time I take my seat in a dank church basement at a meeting that delves into control, I inevitably end up wanting to run away. Because the thing is, there can be a lot of love in an enmeshed family and I have not yet been able to cut those cords. It’s the love I don’t want to lose, as well as the qualities I’ve gained from being a part of a codependent system. The gifts I’ve acquired – like going the extra mile and being the kind of person others can depend on – are things I like about me.I come from a family who polls every decision, vibrates with panic, and shapeshifts into blurred roles and lines constantly, and these are some of the challenging patterns I continue to work on as a codependent person. But at the same time, I’ve been able to use some of the aforementioned CODA skills to help animals, specifically shelter dogs. Yeah, it’s a loophole, of sorts. Everything has a light side and a dark side. But the tangled-up, deep love I’ve learned to practice in my family of origin, the kind of love that almost hurts, has allowed me to have the positive relationships with rescue dogs who need help. And as I’ve learned to engage in this kind of love with them, I inadvertently stopped being codependent with people, because loving dogs well involved me wanting to get them right in the mind. That taught me to implement boundaries. I know it’s a stretch but trust me: walking down a shelter corridor and taking in all that pain, very much makes one want to do right by those animals. It will mean more than wanting to feel like a savior. It will become less about you. What a relief, right?Furthermore, because of how much I love dogs, they make me careful not to make them codependent on me. As a foster mom, my job is to get them ready to go to happy homes and enjoy the smoothest transition possible into their new life. This means I must allow them to experience discomfort, tolerate limitations, learn independence, and be balanced. And in giving these gifts to them, I’ve learned how to give them to myself.Am I really making a case for codependency here? I am.Because once we understand something and experience it fully, with awareness, we can know how to stop it.I want to take a minute to point out that codependency can feel like the encouragement to abandon oneself and put others first. It’s a cutting off self, a lack of identity without person or family to fix or please or obsess about. It’s a dangerous game when we can’t speak our needs or share a truth, and I don’t want to gloss over those agonizing elements of this unhealthy dynamic or make the dysfunction sound fun. But it’s humans I’ve experienced this with, it’s people who have disappointed me when it comes to a codependent paradigm. It’s my family I haven’t been able to change the nature of our relationship with.As I type these words, my 17-year old Beagle mix, Ophelia, my first rescue dog, is snoring on my lap. She has never, not once, pushed me to forget myself, has never shoved her guilt onto me or held on tighter when I walked out the door. My dog waits patiently, she dances when I come home, she accepts what I want, and she lets me know what she wants, as if it’s all okay just the way we are, as if we can be together or apart, but the love isn’t dependent on either and it won’t ever be affected by imperfections or mistakes or feelings. I adore Ophelia, I am devoted to her, and because of her, I have grown to love myself. Because of her, I’ve also adopted many other dogs and fostered many other dogs, each time proving to myself again that being codependent on dogs is safe. Here exactly is why:You never have to sell yourself out for a dog’s affection and companionship. You never have to perform to earn their approval. You just have to be halfway decent. For me, going into an animal shelter, bearing that world of hurt and taking in the ugly smells and earsplitting barks and eager eyes from behind kennel bars, was all I had to do to be rewarded with unconditional friendship from someone who needed just one friend in the world. It makes me feel proud to be that friend, and I can admit that a part of me still needs to be needed. Perhaps that part of me is a continuation of codependency instead of a cure, but it’s also a safe place to park my natural/nurture-al symbiotic spirit there so that I don’t keep handing it over to humans who will without a doubt let me down. It’s my great, grand ability to be disappointed that I’ve found hard to deal with. But my old Beagle, my shelter pets, they never let me down. They continue to need me and I am not above saying it because when we speak honestly, we can hopefully prevent the fallout of defects run rampant and pathologies. Emotionally relying on a dog who relies on me is also acceptable in my book because it can actually strengthen the bond. A dog requires consistent checking in, and every time we do that, every time we engage in communication with our dogs, they are looking back at us with those devoted eyes that in and of themselves are an honor. And because of all this happens without words, it will make you believe in the power of communicating, in sharing your needs as well as attempting to understand another’s, with willingness. It will make you get quiet enough to hear yourself. My dogs and I are in a constant feedback loop of connection. Each time I try to reach out and understand or be understood by them, they are doing the same, they are there to receive it, cherish it, and reciprocate. I’m not saying animals are here to serve us, but I am saying that an indirect benefit of loving Ophelia has been enjoying a relationship where codependency feels nontoxic precisely because there is no risk of being rejected. Sometimes it feels like she and I are one. Sometimes other people don’t get that. But I don’t care, and in this light, being codependent with a dog might be the best way towards self-discovery – because I have found that I can be somebody who doesn’t care what others think. Go figure! A dog will become a justifiable excuse to say no when you need to say no, even embolden you to say it. Practicing saying no in order to go feed my dog, walk her, and take care of her has been incredibly therapeutic for me. It has dared me to try saying no at other times. Am I using her? Maybe a little. Does she mind? I don’t think so. Because whether Ophelia catches me picking my nose or declining a call I should answer or being a general asshole or fibbing, she doesn’t judge me, and that has helped me stop judging myself, at least a little bit. Over the years, as I have had to trust my intuition about what I think my dogs are telling me, it has compelled me to trust myself, what I believe, what my gut says. I think that is the muscle I’ve most needed to build in order to loosen my codependency on other people. Ophelia has shown me that I can count on myself, on what I perceive or sense, and that I’m often right. And that when I’m not, it’s not the end of the world, I can try again. More forgiveness has been the result.So maybe I am looking for a workaround, an excuse to be codependent in a way that serves me because it’s so hard to change our own mental patterns. Sure, I’ll probably return to Al-Anon again in six months on the edge of reason. But I will still have dogs in my life to walk through recovery with me, wherever I am on that journey. And for now, this area of my recovery remains the final frontier. Because I love my family, I do, and the only border I’ve been able to implement between us is made up of four-legged friends. I’ve learned to pour my CODA into purpose, into these tender animals who deserve a chance at a good life, and miraculously they’re helping me evolve. They’re helping me feel good about what I give. They’re helping me feel worthwhile and worth loving.What’s ironic is that as I engage in a sacred love with Ophelia, my codependency is morphing and I am in the practice of learning to let go. Because my precious pets will not live as long as I do, and thus I will have no choice but to grow the resilience and self-care needed in order to go on. In this most generous last act, dogs help heal us of codependency’s grip, showing us what we’re made of, how strong we really are, and that we can live beyond heartache. I look at Ophelia with utter gratitude even though I know what’s coming. She will leave me standing on my own two feet, less codependent than I was before her. Proud of what we were together, forever. And there is always another shelter, there are always more dogs to take in and learn from, learn with. And on and on it goes, the world turns, and we redefine ourselves each day by the ones who love us. But when it comes to dogs, they leave us loving ourselves most in the end.

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Our locations include:

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